Difference Between a Good Tip and a Bad One

We were at the dinner table this week and I am not real sure how the topic came up, but Caden, my oldest son, asked the question “when a server at a restaurant asks you “how is everything”, you wouldn’t say bad would you?” To which my wife stated, “sure I would” (and for that matter she does!) Why would you pay for a meal that was overcooked, undercooked or just wrong?
The fact that my son found it almost shocking that you would return a meal was very eye opening to me.
When you think about it, we all do things every day, if not hourly, like not returning the meal. We work with people that turn in assignments that might be “undercooked”, yet, instead of sending it back, we simply throw it on our pile of things to cook our way later. Meanwhile, the person that turned in the work believes they delivered something to our expectations.
Now, obviously if the person turned in that work with the knowledge or intent it was poor, you would deal with that differently. Intent matters.
There have been many times when I received work that was not up to specification and I took it and did it myself, but worse, I would then either internally or sometimes externally tell others about the poor quality of work produced. It was pointed out to me recently through a book I am reading, Radical Candor, that I am just as responsible for the poor performance as the person who actually completed the work. I was not direct enough to tell them. My mentor, Hardin Byars, says “Unexpressed expectations lead to resentment”.
In the book Radical Candor, there are a bunch of real world examples and processes you can use every day to become a better leader. The book's statement is simple “Radical Candor is the ability to Challenge Directly and show you Care Personally at the same time“.
Going back to the restaurant, it has been my experience that when you give the server the chance to make it right, many times this is when your expectations are exceeded. You get that steak cooked to perfection and they get a better tip. Everybody wins.