Patience - Coach versus Prison Guard

No doubt I could use more patience. Now with that said, many times in my career not being completely patient and driving whatever it is forward has been valuable. This has been very helpful when pursuing goals. When working with team members is has not been as helpful. There are times when I should have been more patient with others to help them understand the why or developing their leadership.

I have decided the other side of me might be more Prison Guard. What is that? Simply do what I said because I said it! AND NOW. Like patience there are times that this way of directing can be needed. Think of teaching someone to drive. If they are about to cause an accident, I am not coaching rather do as I say NOW.

If the world were that black and white it would be great! Finding balance can be difficult and I believe I have been getting better at finding this balance yet sometimes I look back at an interaction and think I needed to take of that guard uniform and be more of a coach.

They are smart (Intelligent)

I was having a conversation with my wife last night and she made they statement that "They are really smart" Probably should have just let that go but I had to ask what did that mean? (Honestly in reference to is everyone else dumb?) So she further qualified that they have their masters and are getting their Doctorate. So I suppose I have to agree that by her definition they are "Smart" The question that I have to ask is "Are they really" By the way I do not know the person she was referencing.

To understand my thinking on this subject as defined there are several books that speak to this subject. One title is "You can't send a duck to Eagle School" or I have heard the statement " You can't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree" I believe that in reference to the definition of Smart above, you might be very good at school and there are careers that that will make you very good in your career. For example you will most likely be a very good professor (As defined by a college) However you may be a terrible teacher (As defined by the student)

With all that said, I definitely want the bridge designed by someone that is "Smart"

Greatful and Thankful?

Two things I am very poor at. I am blessed with so many things yet over look them all the time. As I see others struggle with marriage, children or simply putting a roof over their head these are things I have never really had to struggle for. I know that is not by accident, I for sure had a lot of things align from education, perseverance and some luck. I will try and spend more time being thankful.

Bringing out your worst or your best?

I found myself not being my best in several situations and was not happy with how I handled the situation. (For those of you wondering what the situations were, they were not at work and were not in public :)) It made me wonder why I was reacting the way I was? After looking back I realized that it was the person I was around that was bringing out my worst! No excuse, I should be able to control my reactions for sure. Now lets be clear, most people would not have even noticed a change in my behavior. Most of what I am speaking bout was in my head. My own self talk was poor. That is my why. I was (In my head) being ultra competitive (Which in itself is not always bad but in this situation it for sure was since it was not a competition) Where as most of the time my default self talk is around making the situation better, improving others and leading towards a better outcome.

Many times I have that Devil and Angel on my shoulder (Again think self talk) and I do really well keeping the positive influence in control. That Devil is more there to provide self doubt and lack of confidence.

So what was the person who was bringing out this character doing to cause this? Nothing, it was their behavior towards others that makes me get mean. Next time I am in this situation I will double down on nice and every time I see them act mean I am going to get twice as nice (Hey it is that time of the year) I am going to avoid attacking the person and just get nice to those around them. (Yea, take the higher ground) And of course I am going to avoid putting myself around the person that causes this in me.