I was watching Undercover Boss and the show ended with "I like to debate, maybe I should debate less and listen more"
I would take that even further to say that we are automatically put into defensive mode. Focusing on the message is important. Then you have to break down the message. Is it factual, is it coming from the right point of view, is it shaded with different light?
No matter what, the key is to just listen and not get immediately defensive. Lets face it, the odds of changing someones point of view is very hard to do. It all begins with listening.